- January 9, 2015 at 11:24 am #1506
In my darkest of hours, when every good thing seems to have disappeared, when everything just hurts too much, & when all I want is to just shut down in hopes that I will wake to some form of relief. I make the call.
It’s no secret that I have depression. In fact now I wear those words like a badge of honor because at one time in my life the battle was on & it was brutal. I remember not being able to hold conversations, music hurt too much to listen to, television, books, anything that involved emotion was simply too much to bear. But, I made it through. I won the battle.
How? I called my best friend, I called my family, I gathered my most intimate resources & I sought help from a Doctor, that 8 years later I still keep in contact with. I knew what was happening to me was not my normal thoughts & feelings & I refused to let myself slip away. I hope that if you are ever in the same boat as I was you will also refuse to let who you truly are slip away.
I became informed of the “To Write Love On Her Arms” movement & have such a heart for that organization & those people. It took leaning on the closest people I have in my life in order for me to get through the dark times & to grow strong; & with the resources TWLOHA offers there is absolutely no excuse to not seek help, you are not alone, & recovery is SO possible.
Although for me the battle has been won, the war still rages on. I still & will always have depression. I have to make a conscious effort every day to live life to the fullest & to not let the darkness rule me or become me. Some days are harder than others, some days are easier, but I wouldn’t change who I am for the world. It has taken the darkest hour to shape me into the person I am today & I love that person.
“Painfully, suffering is almost a prerequisite if we are going to be of much use to other people. It makes us far more compassionate.”
- March 24, 2015 at 7:03 pm #1597
I adore that quote at the end. It’s always the ones who have suffered who are the first to help others so they don’t have to feel the same. This post was what I needed this week. I’m not currently in the greatest place, but I know I can make the best of it and work toward making tomorrow better. Thank you, Josh.
- March 25, 2015 at 10:21 am #1603
I came across this again and as I write this I have tears in my eyes. This is such a beautiful post, and I am so thankful that you wrote this.
My depression has been bad again recently, and I think it was initially triggered by the loss of someone who was a great inspiration to me. I feel this perpetual numbness – whenever I know I should be feeling something, it’s not there. Just a strange sense of emptiness. But at night, instead of numbness, it’s a soul-crushing sadness. I can’t remember the last time I got through the night without crying. Sometimes I don’t even know what I’m crying about, but it happens. It drains the life out of me.
During the day, I put on this fake smile, and push myself to act “normal”. It’s exhausting, to seemingly put on an act for almost everyone around me. I hate that feeling, but I don’t know what’s worse: the sadness, or the emptiness.
It’s strange to me.. I’ve grown to accept myself as a person. I’ve come to terms with my flaws, my illnesses, and everything I can’t change. Yet this darkness still surrounds me.
I know I can get better. I know I will get better. You are one of the people that give me hope that I can get better. But for now, I’m stuck in a rut again.
I’m not entirely sure why I just wrote this all out, but this seems to be some sort of judgement free zone, and I’ve been needing to get that off of my chest.
- February 15, 2016 at 2:13 pm #1898
Josh…I just wanna say I love you to death. The Summer Set has helped me get over my depression in it’s darkest hours and I’m just grateful there’s somebody else in the world who I can relate to. My parents don’t understand my depression (they think I’m just being a typical teen) and as I read this, I started to understand that maybe there is hope in this dark world I’m living in. I understand that you probably won’t see this but if you do…… I just wanna say please write more music. We, your fans , are here for you and desperately NEED you.
- January 22, 2016 at 3:42 pm #1895
2015 was the worst and hardest year of my life. Three losses in one year. First my internet best friend goes into coma for four months and I thought he was lost forever and I thought “I will never survive this”. Then all of a sudden he wakes up again in September and that was the best part of the year. I was so happy that he was back and the best person I ever knew was alive again. Two months later my grandma passes away after a long time of sickness and only a few days later my best friend is gone as well and this time for forever. And I am crushed.
Thankfully, I have my best friend here with me and she has supported me through everything. At one point I thought I was going crazy because I could´t understand how I would live life after that year. But she was beside me through everything and I´m so thankful.
What I wanna say with this post is that reaching out to your loved ones truly does help, whether it´s a family member, a friend, it doesn´t matter just talk to someone.
And thank you The Summer Set for your awesome music and especially thanks for writing “Figure me out” because that song is basically my life. So THANK YOU.
- June 4, 2016 at 10:16 pm #1923
I can’t be myself around anyone. My “friends” come to me when they have problems and they need someone to talk to but they are never there for me when I need someone. I can’t be myself around my family. All they are willing to see/hear is “normal” they don’t want anything to do with the “abnormal”. And I am abnormal I don’t fit into any one social group. That most likely has to do with how I feel about myself though (I have about zero self confidence). Since I don’t like myself it’s hard for me to see anyone else liking me. I also put out a really tough, dare I say bitchy exterior, which of course does not help with the friend situation. I really have no one but I love all of the half moon kids and the summer set. Knowing their are other people out there that go through the things I go through helps a lot.
I have never gotten to the point where the darkness has fully taken over and that’s mostly because of the summer set and their music. I really have no idea what I would have done without their music, I would be a completely different person than I am today (not for the better).
Whether I’m angry, feel like curling into a ball and never leaving, or I just have no one, music has been there and that is what I depend on. Music is a huge part of my life.
You probably get this a lot, but thank you for being there for me even when you didn’t know you were.
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